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Friday, March 3rd, 2006

Time Event
11:54a
Three's a crowd?
Well it sort of was last night but that is kind of my fault and I feel REALLY bad about it. But I am curious to get feedback on whether my reaction was "normal" or if I was overreacting. Last night I went into town to meet up with J and the "other" woman. Now let me reiterate, I really don't mind that he slept with her. Upon meeting her she does seem like a very nice person. But this is all new to me and last night I was still digesting the fact that it had happened and trying to gauge whether or not it had changed anything between J and I. Most of the night was quite normal. We went out to eat and like I said I actually really like her and could see myself being friends with her. The three of us ended up watching some porn with one of J's roommates which is fine with me. In my world that's a pretty normal thing to do. But then the three of us went to bed. And things started to happen and I froze up. Basically I think it just boils down to that I wasn't actually ready to actually see him sleep with another woman. It was just too much too soon. And also I'm not typically the type of person to sleep with someone the first time I meet them anyway. I didn't cry or yell or anything but J could tell I was tense so I told him I was a little freaked but I also said to keep going and do what he wanted and I meant it. I promised him from the beginning that I wouldn't stop him from doing anything he wanted because I don't want to be that kind of person. But anyway to make a long story short my discomfort made her uncomfortable so she clammed up and rolled over and then I felt like a schmuck because nothing happened and I knew J wanted it to. So anyway, point of all this is that I am wondering if my reaction was normal? Or am I being a baby? Just curious if other people have had similar experiences and how you dealt with it. Any input is greatly appreciated!

Current Mood: sleepy

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