First off I once again want to say thank you to everyone for your input as diverse as it is! It is as always ivaluable. Now to update and I also feel some deeper explanations are needed. I trust J with all my heart and I do feel that we have an excellent line of communication. That being said we are both completely new at this. So mistakes are bound to happen. This is a learning experience and probably always will be. This other woman is not an SO, but rather a friend that he decided he wanted to sleep with. And again I have no problem with that as long as he uses protection which I know he did. One of our rules is to meet the other partners so it was normal for him to invite me out to meet her. She does not live around here and was therefore staying at his place because of that. We have since talked in detail about all of this and it was concluded that it probably would have been best to have her sleep on the couch that night instead. But hindsight, you know... J has this fantasy of watching me with another woman which I have no problem with under the right circumstances and up until that night he thought it would be the right circumstances. He had thought that she was bisexual but it turned out that she had never been with a woman which is a little of what freaked me out because I think someone's first time like that should be special. So that is something he needs to be better about, hammering out actual details before all of us getting together. And him asking me to sleep over was a perfectly normal thing in his mind because duh, of course he would want his woman to sleep over if she was in town! And I took him up on the offer because I love sleeping next to him. But also in hindsight I probably should have said no and let him have his time with her. I'm not sure if I will ever want to watch him have sex with another woman. Only time will tell that.
Anyway, Like I said, we did have a long talk and everything is ok. There is no resentment or problems. And he has declared me his primary which makes me feel better to know where I stand. Our relationship has not changed because of this, at least not in a bad way. And he even remembered to wash the sheets! So I think we are ok. We know where each other stands. I think we have both learned from the experience and will be better prepared next time something like this comes up. I am sure I am forgetting to address some point since so many were made! But anyway that is the update and I am feeling a million times better than I did Thursday night. Thanks again to everyone! Current Mood: hopeful