Polyamory in the News roundup

Polyamory advocates break new ground before one of Canada’s highest courts, with media coverage to match. A happy poly household is featured on TV, with toddler. We read that “Three is the new two,” “Poly is the new gay,” and “Is polyamory the new black?” Deborah Anapol weighs upsides and downsides. And a study uncovers a pathetic truth: most young lovers don’t even hear each other’s agreements regarding monogamy.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last three months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

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Geek: Mac 64 status report

I’m working on getting the list data off the old (cracked) disk image, but unfortunately a couple of (non-Poly Boston) lists hosted on the machine have huge archives. (Lots of the messages included large attachments, and I think lots of messages with large attachments were cross-posted to both lists, therefore archived twice.) That’s why I'm just barely started with this process, instead of almost done. :-/
Geek: Mac 64 temporarily down (the mailing list and web site) is temporarily down due to a breakin. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to spend the time to fix things when I found out so I just shut the server down. I’ll be able to look at it tonight and I’m pretty sure I’ll at least be able to get the mailing lists (if not the full web site) up fairly quickly.

(This was an oversight on my part; the breakin was due to a known vulnerability that I fixed systematically on my physical servers at home but neglected to fix on my colocated virtual server.)

I have no idea at this point what the attackers did while they had control of my machine, but this is a kind of attack that lots of sites have seen recently, and I have no reason to think that was targeted specifically or that the attackers were particularly interested in the list or its contents.

By the way, this does not affect my personal mail, or the personal mail of other individuals with addresses.

I’ll post a status update this evening after I’ve had a chance to look at the situation.

(no subject)

Polyamory’s most important court case since 1999 opens next week, and this time our side is prepared. Meanwhile, TV documentaries on polyfamilies in Quebec and Denmark show how TV can do it right if the producers are so inclined. In the U.S., “Sister Wives” sets the new public image for group families, and that’s not so bad. Writers from Dan Savage to a friendly Episcopal priest weigh in on poly life. And the poly-mono anthropology debate rolls on.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last couple months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

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Clothing Swap! Oct 24th

CLOTHING SWAP!  Stripes and plaid!  Feathers and leather! 

Where: 78 Prichard Ave, Somerville, MA
When: 1pm to 4pm Sunday, October 24th

-any clothing, including...
-baby clothes, kid clothes, maternity clothes
-winter clothes (incl hats, gloves, scarves, boots)
-accessories (eg belts, jewelry)

-anything that perceptibly needs washing
-anything too damaged to give to Goodwill
-anything not-wearable
-underwear (but clean bras are ok)

Early drop-off:
In bags on the front porch please, anytime between WEDNESDAY 10/20
and the event.  No prior arrangement needed, but do ring the bell in case
we're home.  Having a good amount of clothing to sort in advance is
essential for this kind of event.  A few hands to help sort the day before
would be appreciated, ask us if you're interested to help.

Your stuff:
The foyer will be strictly for owned and claimed clothing.  It's not
large so please use bags rather than piles, and keep an aisle free.

In the driveway on the left side of the house if there's room (pull
all the way up please).  Prichard Ave and the surrounding streets
are Ok to park without a permit because it's Sunday!

Directions:, with caveats 1) the Swap
will be occurring at #78, which is the unit downstairs of Chip and
Anne's, 2) the house is PURPLE.  This is not really a caveat as it has
been purple for over 4 years, but we still like that it is purple.

Food is neither required nor forbidden.  If you're bringing stuff to
share, please go for more nutrition, less sugar.  All food goes to the

Feline presence:
Yes.  (Air filters, too.)

See y'all soon!
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper

Polyamory in the News

A hot new book matches poly to our evolved human nature. A legal scholar examines what will happen if poly is viewed as a sexual orientation. Get ready for “the new monogamy,” the coming term for non-monogamy. Stranger in a Strange Land redux. Great radio and TV. Conservatives flip out.

If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last four months (or subscribed to it by the LJ friends feed or other feed), here is some of what you missed:

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Secondaries and Primaries...

Hi Folks. Long time listener, first time caller. Well, not all that long of a listener, either.

I'm after a bit of advice.

I'm new to Poly. Indeed, I've fallen into it almost against my will. I've friends who are Poly, but years ago I was actually on record as saying, "Polyamorism is like Communism. It looks great on paper, but doesn't work out so well in reality." Well, suffice it to say that now that I find myself as Secondary in two relationships, some of my old friends are laughing their asses off! :-)

This is part of the issue. Most of what I have read seems to have involved someone with a Primary relationship also having a Secondary relationship. I'm in a situation where I have two Secondary relationships, but no Primary relationship. How common is that? How does that, in everyone's experience, affect being able to find a Primary relationship?

Boyfriend #1 and I sorta fell into together. He had a 10 year relationship with his boyfriend that allowed him to "play" because his boyfriend is out of the country very regularly. Through a weird set of circumstances that boyfriend found a boyfriend and still keeps him. That really strained their relationship, but it was obvious to me that the two of them still loved each other so I fought to keep them together. I've never met my Boyfriend #1's Primary and don't expect to unless something very bad happens. But a few months ago, I said to him, "You're in a poly relationship whether you admit it or not." He said he realized it, yes. And that's how the two of us formalized things. It was the first time either of us had said the words.

Boyfriend #2 began as a formal relationship. Boyfriend #2 is married to another man. The difference here is that Boyfriend #2's Primary has known and met me from the very first date and the three of us have breakfast and dinner together reasonably regularly. I attribute this to everyone in this group being Poly from the start.

I'm still looking for what I call Boyfriend #0 - my primary. This is the first time I've had to take anything like this into account. While BF#2 has said there may come a time when he goes really into the background I have no intention of moving away from BF#2 (or BF#1) to make way for BF#0. That just doesn't seem fair. Rearrange priorities, sure, but not leave. But this is an additional stricture that I've never had to deal with before.

What resources do people use? What experiences have people had?

Hi! :-)